Part Thirty One: Don’t imagine monsters

Dear Morayo, It's Thursday, it's pouring with rain outside (obviously- it's now British Summer time!) and I've just dropped you off at pre-school. You now go two afternoons a week (that's six hours a week total!), and today is your second session. Rather than the classic clinging-to-Mummy-at-the-entrance, you skipped in excitedly after scratching on the … Continue reading Part Thirty One: Don’t imagine monsters →

Part Twenty Nine: Generators

Dear Morayo, Before I went to Nigeria that first time, I had expected at least 50% of the men there to be as tall and handsome, muscular and just plain fit as your Dad. I was wrong. I had lived in Libya, Yemen and Sri Lanka and thought I was prepared for the amount of … Continue reading Part Twenty Nine: Generators →

Part Twenty Eight: On with the story

Dear Morayo, If you do ever end up reading this, you've probably reached the point where you're thinking 'God Mum, just get on with the story and stop faffing about!'- and of course you'd be absolutely right. It's 2021, and in a few months it will be eight years since your Dad disappeared that day. … Continue reading Part Twenty Eight: On with the story →

Part Twenty Six: That’s a ladder

Dear Morayo, The UK has slowly been easing out of lockdown for the last couple of months, and it couldn't have come sooner as far as you, me and your Dad are concerned. The funny thing is that I'm so good at denial, I don't even realise how much something is fucking with me as … Continue reading Part Twenty Six: That’s a ladder →

Part Twenty Two: Long distance

Dear Morayo, After your Dad was released from that awful prison on the outskirts of Amman, you would probably assume that the first thing he would do would be to get on a plane and travel directly home to Lagos Nigeria. After all, I was in Azerbaijan, he didn't have a house or a job … Continue reading Part Twenty Two: Long distance →

Part Sixteen: Privilege

Dear Morayo, You know by now that your Dad and I met in Jordan. Prior to living in Amman, he had lived in Dubai as well as his home country of Nigeria, and I had lived in Libya, Yemen and Sri Lanka as well as growing up in the UK. Since leaving Amman I worked … Continue reading Part Sixteen: Privilege →

Part Fourteen: Memories of waiting

Dear Morayo, I suppose I have been putting off writing about visiting your Dad in prison because I don't really want to know what I can and can't remember. It feels as though it happened to someone else, but simultaneously that it is an integral part of who I am now. I assume that your … Continue reading Part Fourteen: Memories of waiting →

Part Thirteen: Hope

Dear Morayo, This week I have remembered what an amazing thing hope is! You have spent the last couple of weeks waking every hour or two at night, and that coupled with your refusal to nap anywhere but the sling for the last three months has been slowly but surely breaking me. Not only has … Continue reading Part Thirteen: Hope →